I-96. Exit 117A. East Bound. 911...

So I'm sure many of you are wondering why I've been acting the way I have since this past Monday, Jan 18. I witnessed something that I pray that none of you ever have to see in your own lives. I'm forever scarred from what I saw. So, as a way of getting over it, I'll tell you here exactly what happened.

I was driving on east bound I-96 on Monday January 18, it was about 2pm. Listening to some Allison Krauss to calm me down, I was driving in the left lane, another car ahead of me, behind me, and in the right lane several yards in front of me, a semi truck. Just then, the semi began to sort of swerve, and just started going to the right, onto the shoulder. I didn't really realize what was happening until after it actually happened.

The semi hit the guardrail, smashing it to the ground, and then a small bridge. The impact flipped the semi over, the front carriage smashing all about. Things were flying, cars were screaching to a hault. The car in front of me stopped short, so I had to swerve slightly to the right. My heart pounding, adreneline rushing through my entire body, I'm shaking. Immediately as my car finally stopped, people begin to get out of their cars, rushing to the semi. The smells...like burnt oil and tires. I look behind me, and then in front of me, trying to find a way out. But there's something blocking my way out. I glance at it once, then again, and again. My heart sinks. It's the driver's body. Twisted and mangled up. I honestly didn't even see a head on the body...just a burnt bloody spot where one should be...or maybe not, I really don't know. The torso was twisted...arms and legs just spread out on the road. People were screaming, on their phones, one man stood over the body and kept others away from it.

I immediately grabbed my phone and dialed 911. I could hear my voice shaking as I told the operator where I was on I-96, and what happened. Later on I remembered that I think I told her I was on west 96, but I was sure than with all the other 911 calls that were probably going on they put it together that it was in fact east. I told the operator that the driver was lying on the ground, she asked if he was pinned under the car. No, I told her, he's just sprawled out in the middle of the road. I could hear her repeating to a dispatcher that the driver had been ejected from the semi. I then told her that fuel was spewing out of the tank as well (might be where the rumor that it was a tanker semi started). She repeated back everything I was telling her to the dispatcher. People gathered all around my car. I was shaking. The man who was guarding the body told the woman in front of me to move, and I did the same. I started out slowly, the 911 operator taking down my name. She didn't tell me to stay, so I didn't. Looking back, I probably should've. I saw everything from the first moment it happened. But I had it in my head t get out of there...the fuel...what if it blew up? I had to get out. I had to keep driving. So I did.

I was shaking and taking deep breaths. I resisted going over 70 in fear of what may happen. I stopped a few miles down at a gas station, called a few friends and my parents. My dad was the most worried, he said to call him tonight. I thought what for? I'm okay. I grabbed a big bottle of water at the gas station and went back on my way. I made it to Novi and I got my Lush products, the whole reason for the trip. Adreneline was still pumping through me, which was probably why I was able to put on a good front. Then I got back in my car. Each semi I passed freaked me out. Then I started to feel...odd. Sad and unsure of what to do. I thought that I was just faking it to be honest. Like I wasn't really feeling like this, but was...faking it? Then I passed the semi wreck on my way back...I hyperventilated. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't see because I was crying hysterically. I went to the side of the highway to recouperate. I was clawing my side window, trying to block what I was seeing, I think. That's when it all hit me. I was in shock, I was going through something horrible. I needed help.

I saw a trauma counselor yesterday right when I came home and I'm seeing one today as well. I just don't know when I will be completely okay. I really don't know if I ever will...I might be 99% there...but even when I don't close my eyes, I see the driver. Maybe if I didn't see that, I would be better, but I just don't know. It doesn't seem real to me. It doesn't feel like it really happened. How could this happen? Did it really? It seems ages ago and it was less than 24 hours. I feel out of my own body. I feel lightheaded and yet heavy.

I am getting help. Thanks for reading this long story. I just thought many of you were wondering what exactly happened, and I just thought to write a few things down before my brain tries to block it all out completely. Thank you to all who have been there for me through this. It will take a while for me to get back to being myself, but I'm getting there. Just stick with me. I love you all. Thank you.